Relationships & Connection
Trust
Trust can be a major sticking point in survivors’ lives. When our trust has been betrayed in a major way, it can be hard to trust anyone afterwards. When we have been abused or neglected, especially as children, we can lose trust even in ourselves.
LEARNING TO TRUST YOURSELF
Do you trust yourself? Do you trust your instincts? Do you believe that you are capable of looking after your own best interests, taking care of your own needs? It is okay if the answer is “no.” Healing takes time – sometimes a lot of time. As you practise self-care, and other positive methods of coping, your sense of trust in yourself will naturally increase. As you practise setting healthy boundaries with others and cutting toxic people out of your life, you will learn to trust and stand up for yourself.
LEARNING TO TRUST OTHERS
Do you trust other people? Is there anyone in your life you feel you can trust completely, or are you waiting for betrayal, abandonment, lies from everyone? What do you think it would be like to trust someone? What are you most afraid will happen if you do?
As you begin to heal and trust yourself, you will naturally find it easier to extend trust to others who are worthy of that trust. You will realise that no matter what happens, you are there for yourself. You will see that trust is something that can be extended slowly, to the right people, and that it can be revoked.
As a survivor, you probably learned to believe that the world is a scary place. As you practise trusting, you will find that there are many, many people in this world who do not want to hurt you. Who want the best for you. Who love and care for you and deserve your trust.
Above all, you deserve your own trust.
You are not your abuse. You are not what they did to you. You are not your trauma.
You are the cleverness that survived. You are the courage that escaped.
You are the power that hid and protected a tiny spark of your light.
You will fan that spark into a bonfire with rage and love,
and with it you will burn all their lies and deceit to ash and you will overcome!
— Unknown
Something Good
What is something someone said about you or to you that made you feel good?
The Cleansing
A little cleaning is necessary now and then. What are the things that cause you stress? Type them out in the box below, take them in for a moment, and then hit the Release My Stress button to wipe them away. Enjoy watching all of your stresses get cleared away with the click of a button.
Freeing the Mind
Freeing your mind is a simple technique to help you declutter your mind and thoughts. It helps you gain focus on things that need doing.
If you are using a physical journal write EVERY little thing in your mind and thoughts. Some days you may write lists and lists of things running through your mind. Other times you may end up only having a few notes. Do what feels most natural to you.
Try it! – Type your thoughts below and click “add word” to put on your thought board. Add as many thoughts as you like, then move and organize them or colour them as you like by tapping them to change colours.
FEEL STUCK WITH THIS EXERCISE?
HERE ARE SOME IDEAS TO GET YOU THINKING AGAIN:
- What have you been worried about?
- What do you keep forgetting to do?
- What would make you really happy?
- What tasks never seem to get done?
- Was there something you didn’t get time to do?
- Is there an upcoming event or special occasion?
- Are there maintenance tasks you keep meaning to do around the home, for the car, or other areas?
- Is there someone you keep meaning to contact? Or an act of kindness you would love to do for someone special.
- Are there any big goals you keep putting off that would make a big difference to your life?
- Is there something you would love to learn?
So, after you have emptied your mind, what to do next?
Now is time to organize all those tasks and thoughts so that you don’t need to spend time thinking about them. Go through each item you have noted and start organizing. Some of this may be simple, like adding things to your daily to-do list or meal planning layout. Others you can add to your weekly spreads as doable tasks.
Inspiring Things
What are some of the most inspiring things you have heard?
Take note of quotes, motivational phrases or songs?
How can you build courage to advocate for positive change?
What are some of the cultural teachings you have received?
What do you want to share with the next generation?
List 5 things I tried but would never do again.
List 5 things that I have always wanted to try.
My Legacy is…
What is the lasting impact, memory, and influence that you would like to leave behind?
Good Thoughts
Journal about hope, inspiration, love. The good thoughts of your journey.
Personal Growth
Think of the things that ground you and type them out along each root of the tree. Then think about the things that we were connected to that make us who we are (the leaves). Then reflect on things that hold us together that is the trunk.
“Just like moons and suns, with certainty of tides, just like hopes springing high, still I’ll rise.”
-Maya Angelou
Energy Drainers and Energy Builders
